Being fit in Spirit, Mind and Body

Do you struggle with your fitness or your weight? Most people do, especially here in the ’states’, the country where ‘freedom’ is the key word. Do you struggle with ‘making’ yourself exercise? Many do.

Well, here is a little trick for you that I have found to be of tremendous help myself in staying fit for years. While it may be something easy in concept, it can make a difference for the rest of your life. Rather than trying to make yourself like it and ‘make yourself’ do it, try finding a relatively active sport or activity that you do enjoy, a ‘hobby’ so to speak. If it is something that you will do at least a couple times a week, then you’re a huge jump ahead of where you’re at right now! Be honest, if you were to commit to a lifestyle change of regular exercise consisting of only two short workouts per week and you did that EVERY week from now ’till the rest of your days, wouldn’t that be a dramatic difference than what you HAVE been doing? You know, the “I’m on a diet and, oops, now I’m not” thing? Or, the “look at me mom, I’m exercising” and “oops, well… I was!”

Well, you need to find an activity that YOU enjoy. For instance, my wife has always loved to dance. She has always disliked exercise very much. A couple years back she discovered some fun dancing exercise videos and has been using them ever since! I’m really proud of her. I didn’t tell her to find a way to enjoy exercising, she just did through trial and error. We can all do the same. Just try several different activities out that you don’t see as too strenuous or too difficult, but that will keep you challenged physically and that you can get interested in. If you don’t find one right away, that’s o.k.! After all, we only go around once (for those of us that don’t re-incarnate). If you’re going to live, then live! Just keep trying new things until you find a niche. I’m pretty positive that even you can find something active that you will enjoy.

Once you settle in, you’re all set! After a while, what you might even find is that you want to be really good at whatever that thing is that you do. If that happens, you will inadvertently work at it more than you started out thinking you would. Once that phase sets in, you won’t even be thinking about the exercise part. It just happens naturally.

So, get started looking for something to do for fun! I recommend opening your eyes to the world of healthy, athletic activities that are out there by doing a search on the web. Just off the top of my head are things I see others doing for fun that I’ve noticed are in seriously good shape, such as hiking. I like it a little bit, but they really LOVE to hike and their body is drum tight. So, if you wanted to try it, you could find a nice spot, grab some gear; don’t forget good, comfy foot wear and a first aid kit; plenty of water and a low calorie sports drink, maybe a serving of trail mix and you’re off! Mainly, have fun! Bring a friend along for the trip too. Oh, but make SURE that they are in it for the hike and will not wuss out on you mid-way or stop and sit down every two minutes, otherwise your trip is doomed. Hint: if you already think that they probably will not like it, ask someone else, or it will be a one time deal and a bad experience to boot.

Keep in mind that it’s o.k. to have a friend along for encouragement and fun, but this is really temporary. This is about you and your personal experience. In the long run, your ‘friend’ really needs to be the activity you choose because your workout partner will not be there every time you need exercise or need to excel, especially when you consider the years ahead.

But, hiking is just one example. There’s a world to be found out there, biking, tennis, volley-ball, the millions of other activities ending in ‘ball’, ice-hockey, soccer, windsurfing, wake boarding, skateboarding, even water skiing if done often enough, snow skiing, on and on and on. It’s your life and health we’re talking about here, so I would be willing to give them a try before ruling them out too soon.

Oh, and one last thing. Don’t fall for the indoor or lawn activities, like table tennis, lawn bowling, croquet, etc. Because, IF YOU BUY ONE MORE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT TO COLLECT COBWEBS IN YOUR BASEMENT, I’m going to hunt you down and make you workout personally. Leave the comfort of your home. Besides, while things like bowling may be fun, they’re really only physically healthy activities for the elderly… very elderly. Bowling is 3/4 sitting and 1/4 walking 3 steps.

There are many activities. Keep looking or die trying. May God bless your journey.

And, if you haven’t read “Best Advice I Can Give,” you need to. That article should really preface this one.

Well, my first inclination is to say, “why not?” Why wouldn’t exercise be a Godly thing to do? It’s ironic to me that people don’t seem to have a problem when it comes to the development of their minds. They don’t seem to have any difficulty when it comes to the development of their spiritual lives, depending on the person. But, when it comes to the development of their bodies… oh my goodness! Hold the boat! Why should I exercise? Why would I need to do something like that?

The human body was not made to be inactive. It is in a constant state of adaptation. Only, for most people their bodies are constantly adapting to doing NOTHING. What is the adaptation response to doing nothing? In a nutshell, the body becomes weaker, older, more frail, and more predisposed to sickness and disease. Sound like a good time to you? Well, that’s what the overwhelming vast majority of society chooses with each passing day… because they think that it is “optional” to exercise. Is it optional to take care of your financial health? Is it optional to have a relationship with your Creator and take care of your spiritual needs? Is it optional to study and learn in school or to get training for a vocation? Of course, it’s not! But, why in the world do we see it as so optional to take care of our bodies??

Outside of getting adequate rest, which you don’t really have to tell most people to do, there are 2 basic components to taking care of your temple: One, healthy food and drink. Two, regular exercise. If you had to choose only one of those two then you would be extremely shortchanged. You would almost be better off choosing exercise. Exercise has a way of telling the body to simply be healthy. It’s easy to believe God to take care of our health if we don’t have to do anything to be responsible for it ourselves. It’s another thing to realize that we are destroying our own health as children of God by choosing not to do what God has designed our bodies to do - remain active. Children do it. They run and play for hours. Adults typically don’t. Look at the way folks would labor when the Bible was written. I look at the farmer as an example. If your job includes 8, 10, 12 or 14 hours of toiling and planting, you will be getting plenty of exercise. Many jobs today include sitting for 8 to 12 hours! Then we go home anxious to SIT down and watch some t.v. And, you wonder why so many people get sick.

Feel free to write to me with positive comments, inspirational thoughts or if you just have a question. Write to Goodfortitude@gmail.com !!!

I am exceptionally fit for a 20 year old. And, when I say exceptionally fit, I mean it. Fit enough to fall over top notch ratings in almost every category. When taking a basic fitness assessment, I score at the top of the Excellent range out of a 5 tier grading scale in every strength category. In the areas of muscular endurance I score at the top of the Superior range out of a 6 tier grading scale for the 20 - 29 year old age groups. Wow, that’s fantastic. I am more than honored to say that I am that fit. Good for me, you say, right? You want the “kicker”? I’m not 20 years old… I’m 35 and will be 36 in may of 2009. For my age group, I sky-rocket off the charts.

What’s my secret? Simple. And, there’s no secret. It’s only the way that I think. We all have different aptitudes, but most of the time those aptitudes are by-products of our psychological programming. There are very real genetic dispositions that we all have. But, typically, they have very little to do with how much we accomplish in life. So, that’s not what I am referring to here.

The number one reason that I am so fit is this: I like it. I like the results that exercise produces. There is no substitute for exercise. I have always been inspired to hit the workout. At times when I don’t feel like it…I do it anyway. The same reason that I am so successful at being fit, is the very same reason that most people who are rich are successful at making money…….. they like it. And, at times when they don’t feel like going to work, they do it anyway!

So, the number one piece of advice that I could give as a professional fitness trainer is this: change your mind. Your body and physical condition, in fact, your very health, is only a product of your own decisions or lack there of. Not deciding to enjoy a good fitness workout is the same thing as deciding to be unhealthy, period. You cannot and will not change your circumstances until you’ve changed your mind. An old Martial Arts instructor of mine used to say, “Attitude is everything.” And, right he was. What is your attitude toward exercise?

I’ve heard two exceptionally good speakers that I will never forget. One, if memory serves me correctly, I apologize if I’ve gotten this wrong but, was Creflo Dollar. I believe it was he who said, “you cannot change your circumstances, until you’ve changed your mind.” And, I can personally guarantee you that that statement is more true than you may think. There is one thing and one thing only for those of us who aren’t mentally disabled that will prevent us from succeeding in our fitness goals…really any goal…and that thing is our own minds. You yourself will prevent yourself from success. Or, you will change your mind and change your habits, thereby producing results and fruition in your own life.

The other person who has greatly influenced me is a nice woman who makes me laugh, and who may have silly sense of humor, but she is a fantastic speaker and a wonderful minister and someone who I have really learned from in my own life. That person is Dani Johnson. The thing that she had to say that I thought was so profound was this, paraphrased: The number one thing that prevents 90% of all people from succeeding in their own goals is………. what would you guess? “EXCUSES.” Yep. Plain and simple. We are masters at making excuses for our own shortcomings and/or failures. I was very surprised to learn that the big secret to failure was so simple and happened to be the same thing among nearly every person who does not meet or exceed their own goal. Seem like a big bite to swallow? Well, she should know, she’s personally trained many thousands of people and she’s heard nearly every “reason” not to “work at it”.

Excuses disguise themselves as reasons. Excuses elude us. They are very clever at convincing us that we cannot succeed and that we have some legitimate “reason” for not doing the work that it takes. Such as, “it’s going to take a long time”. What kind of reason is that? Anything worth having may take a long time. But, every time you workout you become a tad healthier and a little stronger for it. You’re not going to get cancer because you exercise and eat fruits and vegetables. That’s one thing that I’m sure doesn’t cause cancer. Nor, will you develop heart disease after a good workout.

Have you ever looked up some pictures of “old bodybuilders”. You know what you get? Just that. Some senior citizens with absolutely ripped bodies. Healthy too. Why? Because “old” is just one more of these excuses. Sore joints? Excuse. Exercise helps with joint soreness, if done in moderation. Sore back? Excuse. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve trained through a sore back. Training helps to heal it. Tired? Excuse. Exercise increases natural vitality. Work a lot? excuse. Unless your boss requires a mandatory 90 hours per week, then there’s still a 30 minute workout waiting for you each day. Single parent? …excuse. Bruce Lee used to workout by playing with his kids! You can’t do that? Short of breath? Excuse. Exercise overcomes athsma as long as you start out slowly and build your way up. Don’t have the energy? Well, duh! How do you think you come by it? Excuse! Don’t have time? Man, I hate this one. I don’t want to hear it. There are 24 hours in a day for each and every one of us. It’s not a time issue, it’s a PRIORITY issue! So, say the truth to yourself - “It’s not a priority for me to be healthy and fit.” By the way, that would be an excuse according to Dani as well. Because it should be a priority for everyone to be healthy, especially for your loved ones. And, true health cannot be achieved by eating a perfect diet alone, as if you would.

In other words, everything and anything that you allow to get in your way to showing up at the gym is nothing more than an elaborate, self-pitying excuse that will absolutely keep you from ever changing where you’re at right now. If you are willing to let everything get in the way of you having your workout, then you do not value exercise enough to actually succeed at changing your body and you can expect to be out of shape, tired and sick for the rest of your life. If you think that you can just skip “one” night of exercise then you will do it again and again and again and again… And the way to fitness is to exercise again and again and again and again. THAT is the foundation. And, THAT is all that works.

(Keeping in mind, there are obvious exceptions such as running a fever in a severe cold or flu in which you need to be still and rest so that your body can heal. But, even if that happened 21 days of the year that leaves 344 days that you could have done something. So, again these exceptions are not what I am referring to.)

We cannot allow ourselves to fall into the trap of thinking that we can wait until we are a certain age to take this seriously. Meanwhile, we are growing older and weaker on the inside, literally. Once we have lived a number of years like this, I’m not sure it is possible to reverse the damaging effects it’s already had on our bodies. On the other hand, when you’ve worked through the years to maintain your health and youthfulness, then that is what happens. The sooner you start, the better. So, don’t wait any longer. “Freeze yourself” where you are at right now. And, don’t make the excuse of “I’ve already waited too long”. If you’re breathing, then it’s not too late.

So, what do you do? You get on with working out and you make time to fit it in somewhere during your busy day and you don’t ever quit or buy any excuse from yourself again. Here’s what will happen if you don’t have a trainer: You will likely not reach your goals or lose a pound to speak of for at least a couple of months into it. Your weight will merely fluctuate at best and you will become very discouraged. At that point you will reach a conclusion. You can either quit on yourself again and stay down in the mire you are in. Or, in utter frustration you will be forced to learn what your body needs and how to do it right as you go along. But, you will NOT quit again. You have to realize that you really don’t have any other choice. You will learn more and more, WHILE you are still working out, until, lo and behold, you start to get it right. It is completely beside the point how long it takes you, because you will only be getting healthier and more fit. One day you look back and realize that you have achieved a goal. Is it an easy road? Heck no. But, I can promise you only one thing: If you quit on yourself again, you not only will not succeed, you will become less and less fit with time and grow old at a SIGNIFICANTLY faster rate. Time has made me more and more fit. It is making nearly everyone else in America more and more obese, sick, tired and weak. It’s up to you to change.

Listen to Jack Lalanne for a terrific example! He’s 94 years old now and for his 95th birthday he wants to do a 20 mile swim to Santa Catalina Island from the coast of California. (Will someone please tell Jack that he’s old, so he can stop exercising and enjoying life so much and buy a wheelchair already!) He’s funny too, because he looks to me like he’s getting ready to laugh all the time in these videos.

A couple of Jack’s older videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBVk071N88M&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEboAJf9UVc

Here is a list of things he has done:

If you still think you’re old, check this out. Keep in mind that Jack is not a super human being, he is just a normal, “non-steroidal” human being that enjoys the benefits of a fitness lifestyle.

http://artofmanliness.com/forum/index.php?topic=271.0

Do you know what the number one reason for divorce is? It’s not money. That’s what most people think. That may be the number one subject of argument. But, the number one reason that people quit marriage is that one person, or both, arrives at the conclusion that, despite all, they no longer like the person they married enough to put up with all that they are “putting them through”. When it comes down to it, the vast majority will divorce for the same reason. They simply don’t want to deal with this human being any more. They no longer feel that they want to be with them, usually, for one behavior or another. In their minds their spouse is simply not conforming with their will enough or they just don’t like them as much as they thought they did. Really? Is that what you stated in your vows? I do, until you start to behave in a way that I don’t feel is appropriate. Or, I do, until you start to do things that are not socially acceptable. I do, until you start to behave in a way that I don’t like, or appreciate very much, or embarrasses me…. I do, until you’re not the person that I THOUGHT you were. I do, until I am frustrated to no end…and then, I QUIT. The brass tacks truth is this, it’s I do, until I don’t want to be with you any more… and then it’s “I don’t”. You can sugar coat it all you want, you can add in all the various ingredients to make it look however you will…but that’s what it boils down to.

Hold on a second. We, as a society, no longer seem to be able to handle a vow. We no longer seem to understand what vows are. We simply don’t respect the vow any more. And, the sad part is, do you know what that does? It degrades and cheapens American culture and it degrades and cheapens the marriage institution. Degrades it to a point where it’s only a temporary fix. Or, it’s something that one does to gratify their personal wants and desires all the way up until they no longer “feel good” in the relationship. Then they leave. That’s just sad. Marriage isn’t designed to be an amusement park. I guarantee you one thing, no person that’s ever been married for more than 10 years said, “WOW” my marriage is just fun all the time! A vow is an eternal commitment to another human being who will need you once you’ve made that bond. Treat it as such or don’t speak a vow in front of a minister and God in the first place…just make a pinky swear…people are more likely to stick to that! If you’ve never been married… choose wisely.

Have a sweet tooth? So do I. Nothing tells the body to store fat quite like sugar. When we are trying to build the nicest physique we can and struggle with sweets and baked goods cravings, it’s like trying to shoot for two targets at the same time. We simply hit neither one.

Over the years, I have adopted a few strategies in order to help me with my own cravings and you can use them as well!

3. Don’t keep sweets in your home. I know, I know. The first thing you do is say, “yeah right, like that’s going to happen!” But, here’s the deal: You have to ask yourself how serious you are about getting into shape. If you do keep them at home, you WILL eat them. Or, if you “have” to keep them at home, on behalf of loved ones, make sure that they know that those are “theirs,” not yours. And, for crying out loud, don’t vex yourself by buying your favorite junk food! I have a wife and kids and I know what I’m not supposed to eat in the home. When you have a sugar craving, go to the store and buy a serving (or two, if small) for yourself, bring it home and enjoy it. It is much less likely that you will go out of your way to pick it up. Keeping it in your home is like a drug addict making an excuse to keep drugs at their bedside and then saying, “I’m not going to take them!” Keeping sweets near by is simply not an option for you if you’re serious about burning fat. Now when you can honestly say, “I have reached my fitness goals,” then you can weigh and balance how much junk you should keep around. What I like to do on payday, when I am dieting down, is buy a chocolate bar and see how long I can keep it up on top of the fridge without eating it. If I do eat it within the first week, then the next week I make myself drive to the store if I want another one. Use whatever works until you succeed.

2. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Sweets are carbohydrates. Your body needs carbohydrates to live and to be healthy. Sweets and sugary foods, however, such as cookies and cakes, sodas, sugary drinks and candies are a very unhealthy source of carbohydrates and a major contributing factor to cancer. So, eating plenty of fruits and veggies can help stave off our sugar cravings, as well as cancer of all sorts, in an extremely healthy and natural way. Not to mention that fruits of all types can be very, very satisfying to eat for a “sweets person.” DO replace sweets with fruits! It is extremely difficult to over-eat all natural vegetation. I haven’t met anyone guilty of over-eating fruits and vegetables yet! Yes, if you ate a ton of high glycemic fruits at every meal, it could potentially impede your progress at burning fat. But, how many people do you know that even eat one serving of high or low glycemic fruit several times a day?

1. The number one rule for warding off the sugar beast is making sure you get your five meals per day. Yes, really! You have to eat regularly in order to keep the body’s natural metabolism high and to keep yourself feeling satiated. When the body’s blood stream becomes low in nutrients, it is much more likely that you will crave sweets. The reason we think that we want sweets is because the sugars are quickly absorbed into the bloodstream and can immediately make us feel “better”, a quick fix so to speak. Usually, when we are craving sugary foods and drinks, it is because our bodies are in need of proper and regular nutrition, including water. So, making sure that you have all five meals per day (if not six slightly smaller meals) that include a serving of fruit or veggies, along with plenty of daily water, will keep your body satisfied and your mind off of the junk foods that sabatoge our efforts to lose body fat and feel great.

I want to tell you a little about my youth and just a bit about what life was like growing up. I know that we each have our own experiences, but believe me when I say that mine were fairly exceptional, though I do have several brothers and sisters. The main reason that I have had such exceptional experiences is that I was one of those lucky few kids out there who got to be raised by a really great dad. Honestly, I was very fortunate and I realize that. So, I would just like to brag about him for a small bit.

Growing up with my dad was educational, fun and interesting. I could not even explain what having a relationship with him was all about in one setting. I have a saying that in order to fully understand someone’s life story, you’d have to sit through a detailed description of everything that ever happened to them. For example, if they were 30 years old, then it may take around 30 years in order for them to paint an accurate picture of themselves. Technically, you’d subtract idle time such as sleeping, but you get the idea. This is why psychiatrists spend so great a time listening to patients before giving them a prescribed treatment and diagnosis. They absolutely should to really understand their patient and get just a small sampling of their experiences.

My dad had written a book long before I was born. Apparently it was pretty good as it seemed as if everyone had read it from time to time. Although no matter how intelligent and knowledgeable you are, there are always those folks who want to refute most of what you say. I don’t blame them, if they were raised by my dad I know that they would better understand why he wrote the things he did in his book. Sometimes when we don’t know someone intimately, it can be easy to judge them based on what we do know of them. So, it’s only fair to take the time to truly get to know a person before we put them up on the stake, right. Well, believe it or not, not everyone will do that.

Although I knew about his book when I was really young, I didn’t really care much about reading it, as you could imagine. When I matured a bit though, I did eventually read it and I was certainly glad I did. It was interesting to me to see his perspectives and understandings of life in a new way as it helped me to understand better why he raised me in the way that he did. In a way, it was like everything in my past had come together neatly to complete my life to date and that was needed.

Anyway, my dad was fantastic, he couldn’t have been a better father and the guidance that he gave to me was impeccable and irreplaceable. I can’t imagine what life would have been like had I not had his guidance during times of distress, his leadership in very specific times of my youth and early adulthood.

I can only say that I am so glad that I got to be raised by him, and that I didn’t just have to get to know him through his book alone. On a side note, there are actually lots of people that I know about who seem to steer clear of my dad and yet purposely choose to read his book all the time. It’s as if they really want to know him, they just don’t want to get too close. I guess I can understand that as he can seem a little weird, even to me. Most of us can be afraid of, after all, the things that are new to us; or the unfamiliar. Isn’t it strange how people will do that. They will be very, very confident in places that they are familiar with, but when they venture into new areas or around new people…it’s as if they lose all sense of themselves even though they are still the same exact person. I just wish that those folks weren’t so apprehensive about my old man, sure he’s a pretty big guy, but that doesn’t mean he’s out to hurt anyone. If he was like that I wouldn’t be so fond of him myself, even if I am his son. But, most of these people don’t even give him the time of day. I think that some of them just assume that because of the way some of my brothers and sisters behave that if they get too close to my dad it’s going to rub off on them or something. As if they don’t have family members of their own who act like an idiot from time to time. Well, we’re all human.

Some of these individuals have really studied and analyzed his book to death. In fact, they have even gone to such great lengths as to memorize all of the things that he has said in there and where exactly they are written. It makes me feel good to see that so many people put that much stock in what he had to say…I would just feel so much better, and so would my dad, if they would actually spend the time to have a real relationship with him as well. And, I know that they would learn so much more from him. I mean, how could you not? I’ve tried talking to a few of them about it in the past, but they are almost always adamant about just being left alone.

It can be quite exhausting trying to get people to understand just what he is like to talk to and just how kind and helpful he can be in person. But, people are simply afraid to let my dad in. So, I just write this letter and hope that people read it.

In case you haven’t already pieced this together, I am speaking about the Heavenly Father and my relationship with Him as a Christian. I am talking about my youth as a babe in Christ, which is how we all start out when we are first drawn in by the Spirit. My siblings, of course, are the brothers and sisters in Christ, as when we are reborn of the Holy Spirit we inherit a new family in God.

If you do not know the Lord personally for yourself and would like to get to know the Heavenly Father, remember that all you have to do is ask Him to come into your heart to live in you and through you and He has promised to do just that. You don’t have to feel a thing. You only need a tiny bit of faith to receive Him, that’s all. Perhaps the faith that it takes to ask Him is even enough. It is as simple as letting God know that you would like to receive the Holy Spirit to live inside of you and through you and begin to be led by God and have a more lucid and real relationship with God’s Holy Spirit every day!

Remember that the relationship with the Holy Spirit is a common and important theme throughout the Bible. The Holy Spirit is referred to as “Helper” in John 14:16 and 14:26, “Giver of gifts” in Romans 12:6 - 8 and 1 Corinthians 12:8 - 11 and the “Third Person of the Godhead” in Matthew 28:19 and in 2 Corinthians 13:14.

2 Corinthians 13:14 says, “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Notice the word “fellowship”, very simply “fellowship of the Holy Spirit”. Or, if you really want to get deep, the KJV uses the words, “COMMUNION of the Holy Ghost”! Communion… If you’re uncertain, do an in depth biblical word study on this word. The biblical evidence on the importance and role of God’s Holy Spirit in each of our walks with God is absolutely irrefutable on an intellectual level. That’s letting alone the spiritual and emotional benefits of speaking with a real and living God.

So many Christians today leave this part of being a Christian out to their own loss. Whole churches function consistently without having this kind of relationship with God. That’s like accepting “Two out of three isn’t bad”. “We got the grace of Jesus… we got the love of God. What more could we need?”

So many people today live out a very void religion of Christianity, often times only reading the Bible and/or attending a church. But that’s really the extent of it. They may know the Bible scriptures very well, but they don’t really know the nature of God for themselves. They may even be fully convinced that they know who God is. I suppose they may even say that they have a relationship with God if you asked. BUT, If you ask them the question, “What was the last thing that God said to you?” or “What was the last instruction that God gave to you?” or “What was the last thing that God spoke to YOU about?” they would stare at you completely blank for a minute while they think up some odd reason why God shouldn’t or wouldn’t actually do that. Stare at you blankly while they try to come up with a scripture in His book that supports why God doesn’t or wouldn’t talk to His own children. What they do not realize is that He does. He does to those who are open to listen, who have “ears to hear”. He does every single day to those who have accepted the full gospel of Jesus Christ and those who are not afraid to invite in the Holy Spirit to live in, as well as, through them; to have a two way relationship rather than a unilateral, formulated, ceremonial relationship commonly found in churches today. While there are those churches who, in years prior, did not believe in the things of the Spirit who, never-the-less, have recently, easily and readily transitioned into the movement of the Holy Spirit and functioning of the gifts of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God! The Holy Spirit is the key to the door that is the “mystery” to understanding the nature of God! If I could only get folks to understand that without the Holy Spirit it is quite difficult to truly decipher the meaning of all those scriptures. It is like trying to understand my Father’s book without ever having gotten to know Him personally. You can read someone’s autobiography through and through, but what does that mean if that person has never even spoken to you? And, if I’m being honest…you’d actually stand a better chance of understanding a person by reading their autobiography than you would understanding the nature of God without the indwelling of His Spirit. There have been many a bible scholar who will admit, after getting saved, that they weren’t even a Christian for a large portion of their scholarly lives, let alone a Christian who truly understands God’s Spirit. Wow. To “master” the bible…and not know God…what discipline.

Since there are many people who still will not like what I am saying, let me give you some scriptures to pray about and I just invite you to think graciously about these things for a while. And, I encourage you to challenge your faith to read them literally and not metaphorically or figuratively, because what most people do is they label the scriptures that they can’t possibly imagine living by, or don’t fully comprehend, a “metaphor”. A babe in Christ will not fully understand much of the Bible! But, as they grow in the Word and in Spirit, more and more things begin to unravel to them. Some can’t imagine living by most of the scriptures! If we can simply attach the word “metaphor” to everything we can’t currently relate to, and simply dismiss it in our minds as something we don’t need to live by, then we may as well all just drop out right now and start living our own way and not even worry about living according to some supposed “written about God”. In other words, it’s either real or it isn’t, it’s either a story book or an historical record, it’s either God’s divinely inspired Word or just another meaningless book that many authors from several generations happened to have a similar account of.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 2, Paul talks about his reliance upon the Spirit and how we receive the mind of Christ when we receive the Spirit. The entire chapter is very short. Really, all the scriptures here are needed to understand well, however I will quote for you just a few.

1 Corinthians 2:11 For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.
(Remember, it is important here to keep this scripture in context, as once you have received the Spirit of God then you do, indeed, inherit the mind of Christ. If we simply take this scripture alone, it could make it seem as though it is impossible for anyone to understand God even once they have received the infilling of God’s Spirit.)

2:12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God,

2:13 which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.

2:14 But a natural (not spiritual) man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.

(Special attention should be given to these passages because they are plainly letting us know that without God’s Spirit we cannot even understand the things of God. In other words, some who have studied the Bible ’till blue in the face still don’t really understand much of it in its pure and literal form simply for the fact that they have never really received the Holy Spirit.)

In 1 Corinthians chapter 14 Paul is speaking about the importance of interpreting tongues by prophesy so that everyone can simply understand, otherwise it would only be confusing in the church.

1 Corinthians 14:2 For one who speaks in a tongue does NOT speak to men but to God; for no one understands, but in his spirit he speaks mysteries.

14:13 Therefore let one who speaks in a tongue pray that he may interpret.

14:14 For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unfruitful.

14:21 In the law it is written, “By men of strange tongues and by the lips of strangers I will speak to this people, and even so they will not listen to me,” says the Lord.

14:23 Therefore if the whole church assembles together and all speak in tongues, and ungifted men OR unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are mad (crazy)?
(You see, people who think that those who pray in tongues are nut-jobs isn’t anything new to come across the wire!) (Sometimes when churches have prayer time together everyone is praying in the Spirit, which is fine, but they’re also praying in tongues together and doing so rather loudly at times. This is exactly what Paul instructs us not to do here, as there is no order in that. Sometimes when a new person has come into the church they obviously see what’s going on around them, have no clue why and absolutely no understanding of what the church is doing and the conclusion that they come to is that they’re all just a bunch of “wackos”. Then they never come back. But, even churches which have been established for a very long time will make mistakes in some areas…that’s true of most any church.)

Please don’t mis-understand. I don’t necessarily think that in order to be filled with the Holy Spirit one must absolutely speak in another tongue. I don’t see any reason to be legalistic about that. As I do think that one can ask God to come into their spirit and God will do that and they may not speak in another tongue, or it may be years later before they have this experience. However, if you say that other tongues are absolutely not of God and have no place in any church of God…well, just reading and understanding this chapter in Corinthians would nullify that notion. If you would say that these scriptures are simply saying that these folks are bilingual, then, at least read more carefully verse 14-2 and continue to pray about it. Though, there have been countless instances where those who spoke in tongues in church, and could not understand themselves, were indeed interpreted by someone of another ethnicity as having definitely said some things in their own native language. It’s not uncommon for that to occur. It’s just important that you understand that it is through the Spirit of God that we are able to pray in this manner, NOT through our intellectual interpretation of words.

Romans 8:14 For all who are being LED by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

8:16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,

Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,
(Why do you suppose that God instructs us to make disciples by baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit? What about just the Father and the Son? Wouldn’t that have been adequate enough? Or, don’t you suppose that it is very important to be baptized in the Holy Spirit, as well?)

John 14:17 that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.

Luke 24:45 Then He (Jesus) opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.
(Notice the word “opened” in this scripture. This would indicate, very obviously, that before this point in time they did not understand the Scriptures, until Jesus, through the Spirit, gave them interpretation.)

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
3:4 Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?”
3:5 Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water AND the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.”
3:6 “That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of Spirit is spirit.”
(keeping in mind that one definition of the word “see” in Vine’s dictionary of new testament words is “to clearly decipher”.)

Matthew 3:16 After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and lighting on Him,
(Even Jesus Himself thought it necessary for Himself to be baptized in the Spirit.)
John 1:33 I did not recognize Him, but he who sent me to baptize in water said to me, ‘He upon whom you see the Spirit descending and remaining upon Him, this is the One who baptizes in the Holy Spirit.’

The last chapter I would leave you with would be Romans chapter 8.

Romans 8:7 Because the mind set on the flesh (I strongly prefer the King James Version here because it simply uses the term “carnal mind”, meaning a mind of the flesh rather than spirit, as when our physical bodies die, our spirits will still be able to think in heaven without the gray matter we call a brain) is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even ABLE to do so,
8:8 And those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
8:9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, IF indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.

We all have a spirit being that can indeed think, with or without the physical body. I mean, most Christians know that their fleshly bodies aren’t going with them to heaven, but they never stop to think that maybe they will be able to actually think in heaven with their new spiritual self. Well, that “spirit self” that will be you in heaven, is the very same “you” right now! It’s typically referred to in Christian literature as the “spirit man”. However, I believe that few Christians have learned this and even fewer have learned to rely on their spirit, in communion with the Spirit of God, for understanding, rather than their physical brain.

It’s very important that if we are going to claim Christ as our savior that we take these scriptures very seriously. They are literal and they are God’s Word. And, when it all comes down to it, it boils down to one very simple act. That is the act of simply asking God to fill you with His Holy Spirit, nothing more than that, to lead and guide you, to help you in troubled times, to speak to you when you speak to Him, and to be the companion, savior and solid rock in your life.

Religion is really any act or series of acts that we do repeatedly, sometimes through willpower, “over and over again”. Religiosity can weigh heavily on the person’s spirit. There are many religious people who truly have a desire to know and serve God, and God loves them dearly, but they are miserable; miserable because they are going through the motions of a Christian but are not nearly connected enough with the life giving and joyful Spirit of God. It’s God’s Spirit that rejuvenates us as believers. Haven’t you ever been to a church where it seems as if everyone is sitting dead, grim, silent, scowling, frowning…with the elderly sitting in the back of the church looking as if they just vomited something up from their stomachs. Well, what’s so hard to figure out? That’s not the fruit of the Holy Spirit. And, you know what? That truly describes a great many churches in the world.

When I was first being drawn in of the Holy Spirit, I used to visit all kinds of various denominational and non-denominational churches. Very few…and I mean this, very few ever demonstrated or expressed the joy of the Lord. Most always the people seemed more as if they were only anxious to go home.

I recognize that many of you would argue that you already do have a relationship with God. You’ve been going to church for many years and are content with your lifestyle. I understand. But, I would say this to you. The last thing that God talked to me about was the writing of this letter. I was excited and happy to get started right then as I shared in God’s excitement to reach out to people. What was the last thing that the Christ instructed you to do? When was the last time that you prayed to God in your own words and not a repeat of something that you once heard or memorized? God does feel. He does, indeed, know emotion. And, yes, His heart breaks, more than we humans can realize because we can’t conceive of that great a love. In a faint and feeble way, I can maybe give you a small idea by this analogy…Imagine how your own dad or mom would feel if the only thing that you ever said to them was the same exact thing that your brothers or sisters had said to them before already. And, what’s worse, you said these same words over and over and over again, day after day. Imagine what their response to you would eventually be?

What is it that makes us think that we can treat God’s Holy Spirit exactly this way? That we can depersonalize Him? What is it that makes us think that this is the fulfilling relationship that God has created each and every one of us to have with Him? Did you know that Adam was created to commune with God? Do you think that this fact has changed since the fall of man? That now, all of a sudden, God doesn’t want anything to do with you, that he just wants you to have everything to do with Him through religious ceremony? Come on. This is the most basic reason for your and my existence, to be a companion to God. This was the reason that God created Adam in the first place. The Holy Spirit is our “antenna” by which we can receive from and commune with God. Without that, we have a one sided relationship at best, where we can send a signal and hope it goes out to hearing ears, but we may not hear anything back, ever.

What this means is that being filled with His Holy Spirit will give us the capability of having a more “two sided” relationship with Jesus Christ. Please, don’t let anything get in the way of your doing that, least of all pride.

On a side note: If you are already a spirit led believer, I thought it was interesting to look up the definitions of the words weird and impeccable in Webster’s dictionary and then notice where they came up in “Growing Up with My Father”.

How many out there have taken those personality inventories in college or high school that tell you all about yourself? Neat, huh? I know I, personally, enjoyed them very much. That is, until I got a little older. Remember the way you felt pleasantly surprised to learn all the good qualities you had. And, how the test didn’t quite cover all the details about you, even left out a few really good ones.

I submit to you that every psychological personality inventory that man has ever come up with is more or less a “cookie cutter”, grossly oversimplified attempt to try to categorize the highly diversified and complex realm of human persona into an easy-to-understand and relate to formula at its’ very best. Now, sure, there are some psychology lovers out there who’d disagree with that. But then, I would expect that. The same way I’d expect a doctor to believe in medicine, a karate teacher to believe in the advantage of martial arts, a carpenter to believe in the quality and beauty of wood craft, or an herbalist in the power of vegetation. But, there are those who can’t stand modern medicine, laugh at martial arts, don’t care for wood works at all and those who think that herbs are weak and ineffective. It’s quite normal for a person to “be sold on what they are selling”. I would not be so bold as to say that the world of psychology is an ineffective tool. As I myself am a “psychology lover”. I am, however, saying that man can barely begin to grasp the condition of something so deeply complex that he did not himself create. In a nutshell, I am firmly, quite unerringly, convinced that if you really wanted to know how many different personality types there are out there, well, you need only to calculate the number of people in existence in the world today.

With that in mind, I will tell you the short story of my “changing personality”. In college I took a few different tests and inventories that were supposed to help me decide who I am or, at least, what I should do for a living. They were fun and somewhat informative. But all really simply boiled down to a long form of “reflective speaking”. What ever information I put in, that’s what came back. Now, I remember reading in the bible where the apostle Paul said something to the effect “I am all things to all people”. I didn’t have a complete comprehensive grasp of what it was Paul was saying at the time, and still may not, but I believe that I can relate a bit better now. Basically, part of what he was saying is that God would give him the ability to reach out to people in only the way that God knew was best. That so long as Paul was a willing vessel of God’s Spirit then he would be “different” at different times and for different circumstances. And, if he couldn’t be different within himself then God would enable him.

After college I couldn’t tell you exactly how many times I took the Meyers-Briggs personality test, as that one had the most personality types to my knowledge, it was indeed my favorite; 32 types in all. I was an INFJ, or was it INTJ, or ISTP. Well, it was most usually an “I” something! When I finally realized that I was finished with looking to men to tell me who I was, was when I last took the test just a few years back. I was sitting in a local bookstore and I gave it my all, a true heart-to-book consultation. I answered every question with as much honesty as I could muster, thinking of any situation in my everyday life. I wanted the final answer to the big question “WHO AM I?” once and for all. I wanted the piece of mind that I could set out on my life quest and fulfill it! So, what’d I get? A big fat nothin’. I literally scored right in the middle of every single category, landing me and my personality right smack in the middle of nowhere. I guess I could chose any career in the whole book! I had no longer a type to identify myself with…”un-typable”, according to Meyers-Briggs…I was nothing. Which, incidentally, if you weren’t aware, the Word of God tells us that if a man believes that he is something, he deceives himself.

I am sure that if I went back today and took another inventory I would land in some category or another. However, I would be a fool to take that to heart and mold my life around it. There is only One who knows who I am to become and what I am made of. Only One who can categorize me. I must consult with Him to find out what it is that makes me tick.

It is my understanding that, to some degree, all people will change with time. Our personalities are abstract and cannot be clearly defined by any man or group of men. But, they are, at-least seemingly, calculated by the measurement of different actions and attitudes that we take in our everyday lives. If you will note, almost every test will ask the participant a series of questions about what preferences they would have in various situations or what actions they would take. There aren’t too many other ways of determining exactly who we are on paper. The problem with this approach is that, “who in the world hasn’t changed their mind from time to time? or grown out of certain likes/dislikes.” Who, indeed, hasn’t changed their approach in various situations?

Let’s face it, if you look far enough into the future, we’re still quite primitive in nearly all walks of life. One day people will undoubtedly look back on our records and laugh as they ridicule our very own approaches to life. Like the way we do at how the doctors long ago would chisel out a part of the skull of a mentally ill person so that the tormenting evil spirit would leave their head!

I’m not a genius. I’m not a great psychologist. But what I do know is this. Where I was once a shy boy, I am now much more bold. Where I was once indecisive and naive, I am now direct, yet apprehensive. Where I was once tossed around by the knowledge and advice freely offered up by any and all others, I am now a generator of my own ideas and a seeker of Godly knowledge. And one day…perhaps each day, I will change again.

You too are changing. If you are married, it is your job to change WITH your spouse, who you love. If you are single, it is your job to seek to change for the better. But whatever you do, remember this: If I am becoming more like God, and going toward God with Him “in the center” and my spouse or “spouse to be” is also going toward God by becoming more like Him, then we are, indeed, coming together.

What keeps a marriage together? This is an interesting question as, surely, it would mean different things for different people. And, realistically, there are many factors that would aid in the bond between a man and his wife. However, I am positive there is one key ingredient for all who succeed…commitment. In fact, if you were to ask an elderly couple who’d been married for several decades if they could have done it without commitment, I am 99.8 % positive that they would chuckle first at the naivety of the question and say “absolutely not”. Have you ever asked yourself what commitment really means? If you were to scrutinize the definition of this word you would find that it is in very close relation to the word sacrifice. In a sacrifice you are actually giving something over to be used for another’s purpose. Once you sacrifice that thing, or commit it, there is no taking it back. Unless, of course, there was no real commitment in the first place. In other words, a true wedding is a ceremony and an exchange of vows that indicate and represent the commitment and sacrifice of two people, man and woman, and their lives, to be joined in unity and love until death. Anything else is either a substitution for or a perversion of the real deal. Nothing at all in the true essence of a marriage gives leeway for quitters. Otherwise, modern vows should say something like “until I get truly frustrated, do us part”. And, if you think marriage isn’t frustrating, think again.

At the risk of preachifying, it’s best that if you don’t think you can take the heat, you don’t even go into the kitchen because this is one kitchen that “doesn’t have” a back door. If you leave, you will forever be changed and most likely scarred, whether you realize this or not. So will your ex-spouse. What’s more, we haven’t even gotten to the subject of children. Am I suggesting that there are never instances where divorce is necessary? No. But, they’re few. Far fewer than the numbers of divorces that actually occur. Personally, I’d say only two real reasons exist: 1. Your mortal life is in danger, or those in your family, and divorce is the only option for safety 2. Extramarital sexual affairs (see no.1). However, with this said, if we do divorce it is because of the “hardness” of our hearts. In other words, it isn’t the worst thing we can do to ourselves to forgive our spouse for having an affair, albeit difficult to do. It is also a possibility to separate from a physically abusive spouse without getting divorced. So, even in these extreme cases an argument could still be made for marriage!

One thing that we all must do to get to a point of relative stability in our marriage is completely discard any notion of “fairness” that we may have had in mind or brought into the relationship. Simply put, it is just plain unrealistic. It is childish and simplistic to feel mistreated because your husband/wife isn’t being fair in various instances throughout life. Mature and seasoned couples typically will not bother themselves over such things. For example, one might say “why am I the only one that ever has to take out the trash or lower the toilet seat? I get so tired of him/her not doing this.” Trust me, there are going to be plenty of occasions in a marriage when you feel like you are not being treated fairly. Please understand that I am not at all giving a license to treat your loved one with unfairness as we should strive to esteem others, especially our spouse, more highly than ourselves. But, rather, I am simply stating that this is probably the number one cause of unhappy and “teeth-gritting” marriages. And, that if we want to be at peace with our spouse and selves on a daily basis then we need not always be concerned that our spouse isn’t behaving “fairly”. Listen, when you said “I do” you just made the rest of your life very “unfair” in a lot of ways. In two words, you just gave yourself a lifetime of extra struggles and challenges to be dealt with and overcome. In 32 years of life on earth, I have yet to hear one single person say “oh, my marriage was easy!” You ever hear the phrase “choose your battles?” After 8 years of marriage I finally understand what that means exactly! Do you want to be fighting all the time? Do you want to be constantly at odds with your spouse? One fantastic way to achieve that goal is to worry about fairness all the time. People don’t change over-night. Most of the time they take years to really make significant changes. And, if you married a person who hates to take out the trash then guess what, unless they are divinely restructured at some point, they are never going to like it, whether you finally convince them to take it out once in a while or not! Life is far too short and marriage is far too long to argue over the small stuff, yet those are the things that probably make up 90% of all marital disputes! So, cut it out.

But, don’t despair, marriage has it’s perks. It’s certainly not all bad. Whether you’re already married or thinking of getting married, it can be a wonderful and fulfilling relationship/lifestyle. But, “it takes work” is a huge, huge understatement. Like anything else, daily maintenance is mandatory. I like to think of it this way, “the more you invest into it, the more you’ll get back”. Most of the time this is true. If you are lazy at your marriage then you can expect very little of it. In reality, the goal is to attain a strong harmony in your marriage…to reach a point where the spiritual unity of the two has become one. At this point in marriage the two are practically inseparable. After so much time spent together they literally become “of one mind” both intellectually and emotionally. But, this is difficult to understand until you’ve experienced it and will likely take much longer than you’ve planned. The two partners begin to think and feel alike about most any given issue. This is what we want to happen.

I’ve seen this in my own marriage and my wife and I, at the beginning of our marriage, were at extreme ends of the spectrum where our personalities were concerned. And, when I say extreme, I mean it! We really were total opposites in nearly every aspect of behavior and it is extremely difficult to live out each day this way. It really was a love/”hate” relationship. In the first 2-3 years we fought about everything under the sun. Rarely did one single week pass without an argument. For the most part, not one day passed without some bitter feelings. In some ways, concerning communication, our marriage can still be like that. Only, I can no longer say that it is a love/hate relationship because, first of all, we never really hated one another (though we may have felt this way at times). Secondly, we don’t fight with near the frequency we used to. And thirdly, we have grown together spiritually and emotionally through the seasons. With the passing of time you absolutely will, without fail, begin to become more and more like the person you are married to and vice-versa, that is, provided you are spending a reasonable amount of time with your significant other. Habits, mannerisms, word choices, preferences, planning strategies and yes even some of your very thoughts will begin to mesh. If we we did not naturally/spiritually do this, if this never took place within each of us, every one of our marriages would surely fail.

Please join in next time for the subject of “Ever Changing Personalities”. And, remember, marriage is full of ups and downs the whole way through. So, if you’re in a down right now don’t worry… you’ll get to “up” soon!

How many people do you know that have gotten a divorce? How many people do you know that are married? Now ask yourself how many of the ones who are married have been divorced before. Compare the numbers. Do you find that well over half are in some way the product of divorce? So do I. The numbers just don’t seem too promising… for anyone. Ever wonder why people even bother trying to get married… or, stay that way? Well, this weblog is a site where you, whoever you are, can come for inspiration, hope and information on how to deal with and get through those trying times… I know, because I’ve been there. I am a professional fitness trainer, volunteer minister, martial artist and writer inspired only to help others in their quest for happiness, health, love and daily living. Please, feel free to come visit any time. I will try to post often. If you like this site or find it to be of help to you, I would love to hear from you at goodfortitude@gmail.com

“If you guys can stay married, anyone can.” -Pastor Wilson